What did you hear?

I like to call this, Overheard in the MetroBus and the Bedroom.

"Back Door, Please!"

"Just push it"

Got any others?

New Restaurant Idea

I want to open a Vietnamese Noodle Shop. And I will call it -

Pho King!

Marriage is so Gay!

Today in Washington DC, gay marriage is now allowed/legally recognized, which is awesome!

I used to have a different mindset about it, but that was mostly because I wasn't in a relationship and wasn't happy. So, if I wasn't happy, ain't nobody should be happy.

And although I am not in a relationship, I am happy, and hopeful. And I think that if you have been wait 1 year, 5 years, 17 years to be able to marry your partner, you deserve it. I can barely make it six months with the same woman, and you've been together 17 years!?

Huzzah and Kudos to all my Gays and Lesbians. And don't go contributing to a higher divorce percentage then we already have!

Playa Haiti

Most inappropriate sex joke I made yesterday in light of the Haiti tragedy -

"I'll give you a 7.5 on the Dickedher Scale!"

Others involved mentions of Plate Techtonics, Fault Lines, and in one instance, Magma.

How I like my Women...

I remember hearing this years ago, more than likely in a movie, " I like my women like I like my coffee; Strong and black." I always thought about other ways I would take my ladies.

I like my women like I like my coffee:

- Black and Artificially Sweet
- Strong in Body but Foamy up top.
- Overly Complicated
- Mostly Alcohol
- Light Brown and a bit Nutty
- Black with Two Sugars
- I don't.

How would you like your women, or men?

Movie Star Name

If I was to become famous, I would give myself a Nom de Film, a professional name. Are you ready for it?

Wyatt Sonely.

Only slightly, vaguely bigotted.

:)

Roxanne

Sometimes I feel like Cyrano; I do all the legwork and then some one else sweeps in and reaps the benefits.

I know that most of it is because I don't act on my own work, for varying reasons.

How do I just be satisfied with my own panache?

Kabrewki

Underage drinkers love going to the Kabuki Bar to get sloshed because the staff there won't say, "Noh."

Secret Me

As you know, I listen to Pandora while I am at work to pass the time. And this morning I heard "Me" from Beauty and the Beast. It brightened up my morning, I've been feeling a little low the last couple of days, for reasons that are even unknown to me.

I love the character of Gaston, for multiple reasons, but one of the main ones is he is who I would be if I didn't have, for lack of a better term, humility. His ego keeps him going even when he should quit. Some might call that hubris, but when that is all you know, is it wrong? People talk to me about how I am this or that, (good things that I won't go into here, for humility's sake) and I accept it, but don't go out of my way to let it go to my head, even when maybe I should.

Having a positive self image is very important to a person, but there is a fine line between positive self image and narcissism. Gaston is a complete narcissist. He knows how great he is because everyone keeps telling him that, and rightfully so. He is the most attractive, skilled, accomplished male in the village, and he lets himself get swept up in the momentum of the people's adoration.

And there are times that I want to flip into full Gaston mode, but I know it will just bite me in the ass if I do. So for now, I have to remember; a little Gaston, a little Clutch. (HAHAHA Improv joke)

Avatar

Some friends asked me what I thought of Avatar. My first response was, "It's like watching an old stripper. Beautiful from a distance, but as you get closer, you start to see all the flaws."

It was the music that sucked me in. The only person I recognized in the whole thing was the President.

I am not political, but after I watched this, I thought to myself, "I want to see this movie!" I will be the first one in the theaters to watch this awesomeness on 11/2/10.

Fun Inventions

Article courtesy of arkitipintel.com

"The device, known as The Rape-aXe, is a latex sheath embedded with shafts of sharp, inward-facing microscopic barbs that would be worn by a woman in her vagina like a tampon. If an attacker were to attempt vaginal rape, their penis would enter the latex sheath and be snagged by the barbs, causing the attacker pain during withdrawal and (ideally) giving the victim time to escape. The condom would remain attached to the attacker’s body when he withdrew and could only be removed surgically, which would alert hospital staff and police. This device could assist in the identification and prosecution of rapists."

Here is a quote from Sonnet Ehlers, the inventor of the product, from her website, http://www.antirape.co.za/.

"It is absurd that women and children In this day and age still fall prey to opportunistic sexual predators. When will they be empowered? When will they be heard? ... Why does the system make these women, these victims, feel like the offenders? In many societies these women are treated like offenders! ... Rape-aXe is a device which latches itself to the skin of the attacker, causing immense discomfort, allowing the victim to escape. The attacker is 'branded' a rapist! Since the attacker will need medical assistance, there is no escaping arrest since medical staff will alert the authorities. "

My thoughts on this are simple.

You would apparently have to walk around with this in your lady business any time you left your house, or all the time, depending on your neighborhood. Is that right? Or do you just try and shove it in there right before he does. And then what happens if you don't get away? That guy is probably going to kill you for what you did to him. And then he would just need to slit the device and slide the sections down in order to displace the barbs and voila! he's back on the prowl and you're dead.

And so if you are walking around with it "on" all night long, won't it lose it's effectiveness after a while? Like a guy walking around wearing a condom, just in case he gets the opportunity for sex.

And what about female sexual predators? First they rape a man, and they are wearing this device so now the man is "'branded' a rapist!" even though he in fact is the victim of the crime.

I am against rape, but I don't think this is going to do any good for anybody.

Update Your Plays

This came to me as I was taking a walk today. Imagine calling a Law Firm hotline and hearing the following,

"Thank you for calling the Law Office of Becket and Godot. While your call is very important to us, all of our representatives are busy at the moment. Please stay on the line and a representative will be with you momentarily. Your approximate wait time is ..............................................................................................................................................."