Zombie Jokes

In honor of the upcoming holiday, I thought I would give you some great Zombie jokes to take to your Halloween parties.

What does a Zombie use to travel long distances quickly?
PPPPPLLLLLLAAAAAANNNNNNNEEEEEESSSSSS

What kind of headache does a Zombie get?
MiGGGGGGRRRRRRAAAAAAIIIINNNNNEEEEESSSSSS

What do you call a bunch of Zombies from Denmark?
DDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNEEEEEEESSSSSSSS

What does a Zombie do if he is stuck in a social situation where he has to appear interested in what is going on?
FFFFFEEEEEIIIIIIGGGGGNNNNNNSSSSSSS

How does a Zombie cowboy control his horse?
RRRRRREEEEEIIIINNNNNSSSSS

Why won't a Zombie in a white suit eat a human?
SSSSTTTTTAAAAAIIIIINNNNNSSSSSS

What's a Zombie's favorite part of a song?
ReFFFFRRRRAAAAIIIINNNNNSSSSS

What is a Zombie's drug of choice?
CoCCCCCAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEEE

Why are there no bald Zombies?
RoGGGGGGGAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEE

What does a Zombie use to barbeque?
ProPPPPPAAAAAANNNNNNEEEEEE

How does a Zombie like his bagel?
PPPPLLLLLAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNN

What does a Zombie plumber work on?
DDDDRRRRRRAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNSSSSSSSS

What are Zombie athletes most afraid of?
SSSSSPPPPPRRRRRRAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNSSSSS

Overhead in a Zombie picket line:
What do we want?
BBBRRRRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNSSSSS
When do we want 'em?
BBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAIIINNNNNSSSSS

What do dyslexic Zombies eat?
BBBBBRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNSSSSSS

Where does the preppy undead shop?
Aberzombie & Fitch

What does a Zombie look for in his thriving stock portfolio?
GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS

What is a Zombie's favorite state?
MMMMAAAAAIIIIINNNNNEEEEEEE

Why did the Zombie go to the hospital?
PPPPPAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS

What is a Zombie's favorite part of a horse?
MMMMAAAAAANNNNNNEEEEEESS

Zombie Carly Simon says "You're so -?"
VVVVVVVAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN

More to come. Feel free to add some of your own.

New Experiment

I have been thinking about friends and loved ones in my life, and how I tend to disappear for lengths of time. It can take me weeks or months to respond to emails or phonecalls.

So for the next 30 days, I am going to attempt to immediately answer, within reason, any and all contact made to me. AND Each day I will seek out someone who I knew and have lost contact with and reach out to them and reconnect.

I will keep you posted as to how it all goes down.