Topical T. Rex - on Double Standards

How come it's all right to say, "nice top" to a woman who's wearing a pretty shirt, but if she's wearing a pretty skirt you can't say, "nice bottom"? Double standard.

What did you hear?

I like to call this, Overheard in the MetroBus and the Bedroom.

"Back Door, Please!"

"Just push it"

Got any others?

New Restaurant Idea

I want to open a Vietnamese Noodle Shop. And I will call it -

Pho King!

Marriage is so Gay!

Today in Washington DC, gay marriage is now allowed/legally recognized, which is awesome!

I used to have a different mindset about it, but that was mostly because I wasn't in a relationship and wasn't happy. So, if I wasn't happy, ain't nobody should be happy.

And although I am not in a relationship, I am happy, and hopeful. And I think that if you have been wait 1 year, 5 years, 17 years to be able to marry your partner, you deserve it. I can barely make it six months with the same woman, and you've been together 17 years!?

Huzzah and Kudos to all my Gays and Lesbians. And don't go contributing to a higher divorce percentage then we already have!

Playa Haiti

Most inappropriate sex joke I made yesterday in light of the Haiti tragedy -

"I'll give you a 7.5 on the Dickedher Scale!"

Others involved mentions of Plate Techtonics, Fault Lines, and in one instance, Magma.

How I like my Women...

I remember hearing this years ago, more than likely in a movie, " I like my women like I like my coffee; Strong and black." I always thought about other ways I would take my ladies.

I like my women like I like my coffee:

- Black and Artificially Sweet
- Strong in Body but Foamy up top.
- Overly Complicated
- Mostly Alcohol
- Light Brown and a bit Nutty
- Black with Two Sugars
- I don't.

How would you like your women, or men?

Movie Star Name

If I was to become famous, I would give myself a Nom de Film, a professional name. Are you ready for it?

Wyatt Sonely.

Only slightly, vaguely bigotted.

:)

Roxanne

Sometimes I feel like Cyrano; I do all the legwork and then some one else sweeps in and reaps the benefits.

I know that most of it is because I don't act on my own work, for varying reasons.

How do I just be satisfied with my own panache?

Kabrewki

Underage drinkers love going to the Kabuki Bar to get sloshed because the staff there won't say, "Noh."

Secret Me

As you know, I listen to Pandora while I am at work to pass the time. And this morning I heard "Me" from Beauty and the Beast. It brightened up my morning, I've been feeling a little low the last couple of days, for reasons that are even unknown to me.

I love the character of Gaston, for multiple reasons, but one of the main ones is he is who I would be if I didn't have, for lack of a better term, humility. His ego keeps him going even when he should quit. Some might call that hubris, but when that is all you know, is it wrong? People talk to me about how I am this or that, (good things that I won't go into here, for humility's sake) and I accept it, but don't go out of my way to let it go to my head, even when maybe I should.

Having a positive self image is very important to a person, but there is a fine line between positive self image and narcissism. Gaston is a complete narcissist. He knows how great he is because everyone keeps telling him that, and rightfully so. He is the most attractive, skilled, accomplished male in the village, and he lets himself get swept up in the momentum of the people's adoration.

And there are times that I want to flip into full Gaston mode, but I know it will just bite me in the ass if I do. So for now, I have to remember; a little Gaston, a little Clutch. (HAHAHA Improv joke)

Avatar

Some friends asked me what I thought of Avatar. My first response was, "It's like watching an old stripper. Beautiful from a distance, but as you get closer, you start to see all the flaws."

It was the music that sucked me in. The only person I recognized in the whole thing was the President.

I am not political, but after I watched this, I thought to myself, "I want to see this movie!" I will be the first one in the theaters to watch this awesomeness on 11/2/10.

Fun Inventions

Article courtesy of arkitipintel.com

"The device, known as The Rape-aXe, is a latex sheath embedded with shafts of sharp, inward-facing microscopic barbs that would be worn by a woman in her vagina like a tampon. If an attacker were to attempt vaginal rape, their penis would enter the latex sheath and be snagged by the barbs, causing the attacker pain during withdrawal and (ideally) giving the victim time to escape. The condom would remain attached to the attacker’s body when he withdrew and could only be removed surgically, which would alert hospital staff and police. This device could assist in the identification and prosecution of rapists."

Here is a quote from Sonnet Ehlers, the inventor of the product, from her website, http://www.antirape.co.za/.

"It is absurd that women and children In this day and age still fall prey to opportunistic sexual predators. When will they be empowered? When will they be heard? ... Why does the system make these women, these victims, feel like the offenders? In many societies these women are treated like offenders! ... Rape-aXe is a device which latches itself to the skin of the attacker, causing immense discomfort, allowing the victim to escape. The attacker is 'branded' a rapist! Since the attacker will need medical assistance, there is no escaping arrest since medical staff will alert the authorities. "

My thoughts on this are simple.

You would apparently have to walk around with this in your lady business any time you left your house, or all the time, depending on your neighborhood. Is that right? Or do you just try and shove it in there right before he does. And then what happens if you don't get away? That guy is probably going to kill you for what you did to him. And then he would just need to slit the device and slide the sections down in order to displace the barbs and voila! he's back on the prowl and you're dead.

And so if you are walking around with it "on" all night long, won't it lose it's effectiveness after a while? Like a guy walking around wearing a condom, just in case he gets the opportunity for sex.

And what about female sexual predators? First they rape a man, and they are wearing this device so now the man is "'branded' a rapist!" even though he in fact is the victim of the crime.

I am against rape, but I don't think this is going to do any good for anybody.

Update Your Plays

This came to me as I was taking a walk today. Imagine calling a Law Firm hotline and hearing the following,

"Thank you for calling the Law Office of Becket and Godot. While your call is very important to us, all of our representatives are busy at the moment. Please stay on the line and a representative will be with you momentarily. Your approximate wait time is ..............................................................................................................................................."

Zombie Strippers - 1 out of 5 Stars

I watch a lot of movies, a LOT of movies, and a majority of them are not really that good; The Doom Generation, Bloodrayne, Moulin Rouge, The Room, Fatty Drives the Bus (sorry Mick Napier and Joe Bill) just to name a few. So I like to think that I am open minded about movies, I will try to watch the whole thing. I will even try to look through the special features to see if there is anything redeeming there. Most of the time, I find the interviews with the cast and crew to be hilariously out of step with the piece.

On several occasions, I have had the luxury to watch movies that are really bad. I can only really call them movies because they were placed on celluloid. The movies themselves are scripted horribly, acted just as well, oddly lit, but almost always captured on high quality HD or film stock. These movies have their saving graces, whether it is a slightly comical side character, gratuitous nudity or gore. It is a chore to get through the whole film, and I usually will run and recommend these movies to specific people. It follows the age old mantra - "I had to suffer through algebra in high school, so you will have to suffer through algebra in high school."

But the real fun in these movies comes from the behind the scenes features and interviews. Watching as these "actors" speak so highly of what the had just created, as if it were Spartacus or Ben Hur. They will speak of the socio-economic ramifications of their film, of the political satire that they succeeded in relating, it's High-Art conceptual spirit. When I hear this, I always think to myself, "Were they shooting another movie when they gave this interview?" Because there is no way that there was any of that in the movie I just watched.

Case in point: Zombie Strippers. Take a pseudo-intellectual writer/director/producer/editor/etc. with a penchant for philosophers and old school French playwrights, add classic character actors Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) and Jenna Jameson (Porn), one location, and have all of the characters spout off Nietzsche as they are doing various activities that have nothing to do with pondering your existence. You have to make sure, though, that these actors only say the words, not feel them or understand what they are spouting. And make sure that there are (not so) subtle homages to all the philosophers and heady thinkers throughout the entire film, in characters and places names.

Watching this movie was like getting mid-range adult film actresses to do their dirty business while reading from Beckett. I'd call it "Fellating for Godot"

Would You Rather ...

I suffer from an addictive personality. I have severe problems saying no to things, or more things, like sweets. And I tend to eat really fast, so that just compounds the problem. I am like a dog, if you leave a big of dog food out they will eat until they explode.

This thought was on my mind as I was going out to pick up the ingredients for a dessert I was making for my coworker's birthday. Because of my inability to stop eating sweet or great tasting food, I sometimes have to deny myself even one taste of them.

This got me thinking about enjoyment and creation. I like to make these desserts, but I can't sit down like everyone else and have a big helping of it. As I thought more on this, a question rose in my mind: What would I choose, to be able to create but not enjoy, or enjoy but not create?

Would I rather be able to cook wonderful meals but never be able to eat them? Or would I rather eat a 5 star meal and taste how wonderful it is, and how it can change my perspective, but know that I am incapable of making something so wonderful?

Luckily, I don't think life is black and white like this, but if you had to choose, Create but not Enjoy, or Enjoy but not Create, which way would you go?

Best Rock Ballad EVER!

Holiday Spirits

At my office, I have to deal with many people on a daily basis, answering their questions about casting notices, running clearances on people at the last minute, etc. I try to make their day both a little brighter and a little easier. And one of these people called me up today and asked me if I like red or white wine. With the holidays approaching, many of the companies that we deal with send us gift baskets to say thanks for helping make their year a prosperous one.


I unfortunately can't drink wine, but I can drink beer. Where did the stigma come from that when you attend a party, or send a gift, you would give wine? There are some really fancy beers, pretty much anything from Belgium, that could compete with any wine.


Let's say you would spend $20 on a nice bottle of gift wine, you could spend same $20 and get a really high end six pack of quality beer, or a four pack, or in some cases, just one beer. (There are $20 Beers, I have had them, and they are both good and strong.) Here is just a few, courtesy of a fine beverage store, Cork 57, with a great selection of higher end beers and wines.




So this year, when you have to go to a party or give a gift, give the gift of beer. Think about this, have you ever gone to someone's place and seen bottles of wine that have yet to be opened and enjoyed? Now, have you ever gone to someones place and seen bottles of beer that have yet to be opened and enjoyed?


Exactly.

The Jackson 5 -1

I listen to Pandora while I am at work, it helps to make the day go by quicker, and one of the major ads they have on the site is for this new series, The Jack5ons: A Family Dynasty. This new series seemingly focuses on the four brothers, what's left of the Jackson 5, attempting to be musical. Apparently on the heels of their brothers death, the family now has a burgeoning musical career and tv series. But question for you is this, besides the late King of Pop, and Tits-out Janet, who else from this "dynasty" is talented enough to warrant a comeback, or even a series?

When you think of the Jackson 5, who do you remember? Michael. You don't remember Tito, Jermaine, Jackie or the other one. (Marlon, just found out, apparently the Jackson's and the Wayans are a crossover family)

So if the only real talented ones are either dead or not involved in this new show, who cares?

I'm nottrying to be mean, it just don't make no sense.

Art is ________

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, then how come when you are assigned a thousand word essay for a class or something, you get an F if you turn in a picture?