Topical T. Rex - on Double Standards

How come it's all right to say, "nice top" to a woman who's wearing a pretty shirt, but if she's wearing a pretty skirt you can't say, "nice bottom"? Double standard.

What did you hear?

I like to call this, Overheard in the MetroBus and the Bedroom.

"Back Door, Please!"

"Just push it"

Got any others?

New Restaurant Idea

I want to open a Vietnamese Noodle Shop. And I will call it -

Pho King!

Playa Haiti

Most inappropriate sex joke I made yesterday in light of the Haiti tragedy -

"I'll give you a 7.5 on the Dickedher Scale!"

Others involved mentions of Plate Techtonics, Fault Lines, and in one instance, Magma.

How I like my Women...

I remember hearing this years ago, more than likely in a movie, " I like my women like I like my coffee; Strong and black." I always thought about other ways I would take my ladies.

I like my women like I like my coffee:

- Black and Artificially Sweet
- Strong in Body but Foamy up top.
- Overly Complicated
- Mostly Alcohol
- Light Brown and a bit Nutty
- Black with Two Sugars
- I don't.

How would you like your women, or men?

Movie Star Name

If I was to become famous, I would give myself a Nom de Film, a professional name. Are you ready for it?

Wyatt Sonely.

Only slightly, vaguely bigotted.

:)

Kabrewki

Underage drinkers love going to the Kabuki Bar to get sloshed because the staff there won't say, "Noh."

Update Your Plays

This came to me as I was taking a walk today. Imagine calling a Law Firm hotline and hearing the following,

"Thank you for calling the Law Office of Becket and Godot. While your call is very important to us, all of our representatives are busy at the moment. Please stay on the line and a representative will be with you momentarily. Your approximate wait time is ..............................................................................................................................................."

Zombie Jokes

In honor of the upcoming holiday, I thought I would give you some great Zombie jokes to take to your Halloween parties.

What does a Zombie use to travel long distances quickly?
PPPPPLLLLLLAAAAAANNNNNNNEEEEEESSSSSS

What kind of headache does a Zombie get?
MiGGGGGGRRRRRRAAAAAAIIIINNNNNEEEEESSSSSS

What do you call a bunch of Zombies from Denmark?
DDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNEEEEEEESSSSSSSS

What does a Zombie do if he is stuck in a social situation where he has to appear interested in what is going on?
FFFFFEEEEEIIIIIIGGGGGNNNNNNSSSSSSS

How does a Zombie cowboy control his horse?
RRRRRREEEEEIIIINNNNNSSSSS

Why won't a Zombie in a white suit eat a human?
SSSSTTTTTAAAAAIIIIINNNNNSSSSSS

What's a Zombie's favorite part of a song?
ReFFFFRRRRAAAAIIIINNNNNSSSSS

What is a Zombie's drug of choice?
CoCCCCCAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEEE

Why are there no bald Zombies?
RoGGGGGGGAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEE

What does a Zombie use to barbeque?
ProPPPPPAAAAAANNNNNNEEEEEE

How does a Zombie like his bagel?
PPPPLLLLLAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNN

What does a Zombie plumber work on?
DDDDRRRRRRAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNSSSSSSSS

What are Zombie athletes most afraid of?
SSSSSPPPPPRRRRRRAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNSSSSS

Overhead in a Zombie picket line:
What do we want?
BBBRRRRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNSSSSS
When do we want 'em?
BBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAIIINNNNNSSSSS

What do dyslexic Zombies eat?
BBBBBRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNSSSSSS

Where does the preppy undead shop?
Aberzombie & Fitch

What does a Zombie look for in his thriving stock portfolio?
GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS

What is a Zombie's favorite state?
MMMMAAAAAIIIIINNNNNEEEEEEE

Why did the Zombie go to the hospital?
PPPPPAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS

What is a Zombie's favorite part of a horse?
MMMMAAAAAANNNNNNEEEEEESS

Zombie Carly Simon says "You're so -?"
VVVVVVVAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN

More to come. Feel free to add some of your own.